Socializing is what we do

Some things just don't change. Re-reading some old posts here I realised how much mention there was of hanging out with friends, welcoming people and visiting them. Here in Sudan this is definitely *the* hobby that even the most recluse people tend to pick up after a while. What would cause such an enthusiasm to spend time with people whom we might have just met a few weeks back and possibly won't see much longer than a few months before we or they decide to relocate to another country? I am by no means a sociologist and haven't got the least bit of anthropological clue, but here are some ideas.(On a side note: I believe that an anthropologist would make far more interesting discoveries by studying the expatriate population in any given country than by burrying themselves in some obscure rainforest village.)

We don't have families or childhood friends here, instantly taking out 80% of our normal social interactions. Those who are working might enjoy spending time with their colleagues, like in any other place, except that 90% of the work force is made up of Sudanese people. Now don't get me wrong, Sudanese people are extremely welcoming and their kindness towards visitors knows no boundaries. But as opposed to us expats, they actually do have their childhood friends and families to hang out with, therefore leaving little time to spend on alien guests.(On a side note again, last week I had to visit the sublimly named "Aliens Affairs Office" in order to process my residency permit.)

Here we are, all of us alone in this big foreign country where we don't speak the language, where the rules of the game are totally different (not to mention, constantly changing) and where we know no one to rely upon. So we do what any other species in their right mind would do: we herd together. We organise dinners, braais (bbq for those who are still struggling with Afrikaans), team sport gatherings, running clubs, cruises on the Nile, church services, desert trips, charity fairs and group yoga lessons. We go for coffee during the day and before and after party drinks at night. We watch rugby and movies together. We go splash in someone's pool and eat cakes afterwards in the garden. We send our kids to playdates and birthday parties and welcome children in our house. We exchange phone numbers with people we have met for the first time and we call them up to come for dinner the week after.

Now I don't think there is anything exceptional to all this. All of these activities are undertaken all around the world and there isn't anything special about any of them. Except that we do this ALL THE TIME. This IS what we DO. If you look into our calendar, two nights at home a week with no other activity is considered exceptional. Sometimes it is only one night. Most often, it is none. Now, there is one trick though, you have to look at that calendar in retrospect. Activities here are rarely planned more than a few days or even a few hours in advance. A planned tv night might finish in a 10 people dinner party before you can even find the remote.

Wiki (the ultimate source of all knowledge) says that "the strongest selective pressure leading to herding rather than a solitary existence is protection against predators. It is generally believed that the most important protective factor is risk dilution - even if a predator attacks the herd, the risk for any individual that it will be the victim is greatly reduced." Not too sure what this says about our psychological disposition in this foreign land, but the fact remains: socializing is what we do and what keeps us sane.